Girlfriends

I've been in the same book club for nine years. I started it not long after I moved to Seattle on the advice of a therapist, who suggested I make more women friends.

We read a book a month, then meet for dinner at the hostess' house for dinner and a discussion. Our two rules: All book club meetings must have drinks and dessert.

There are currently eight of us, all mothers, and while we've lost some members and added new ones along the way, the number has remained about the same. And just as our group has evolved, so have our discussions. We generally spend a few minutes talking about the book -- longer if we all hated it -- and the rest of the time we talk about children, husbands, jobs, politics, religion, vacations, exercise, or whatever.

None of us had children when the group began. But these are the women who've showered me with baby gifts, who've brought me meals after the births of my two children and who've lent a ready ear or given advice on all things child-related. And I've done the same for them.

Not surprisingly, the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in our book-club meetings. (Other recent discussions included who does more around the house, how not to raise overly indulgent children and how to get your kids to baseball practice with less than a week's notice of the days/times of the practices.) Here's a glimpse at how we all make work work:

Of the eight of us, three work full time. (One does this by working from home a couple of days a week so she can spend more time with her kids, opting to work evenings after they go to bed. Oh yeah, and she's in a high-level job at a large software company.)

One recently worked full time until she was laid off after the company was bought in a hostile takeover. Instead of pursuing another permanent position, she decided she needed more than three weeks' vacation a year and now has a full-time contract job that ends in June, just in time for her to enjoy the summer.

Another used to work full-time as a teacher, but now she job shares and is home by early afternoon -- in time to greet her own kids as they get home from school.

One works part-time, and although the company has pressured her to go full time, she has resisted.

One quit her job as a lawyer after her kids were born, and now that her kids are older she works a few hours a week at her old firm with the promise that she will come back full time in the next couple of years.

And, of course, I just quit my part-time job so I could work for myself.

In the busy world of a working mom trying to get everything done that needs to get done, it can be all too easy to set friendships aside. I think that's crazy. Working moms need girlfriends more than ever.