In print -- and in the money

Two things happened in the last couple of weeks:

One, I finally got my first check for my freelance business. (It takes FOREVER to get paid!) Now I can go to the bank and open my business checking account.

Second, my first product testing article appeared in The Seattle Times. They billed me as a "busy working mother of two."

It's nice that I can make this motherhood gig pay somehow.

Back from vacation

Here's a list of things this working mama had to do upon returning from vacation:

Unpack the car.
Do five tons of laundry.
Pick up dogs from kennel.
Write down list of items to bring next time I go on vacation.
Finish cleaning the house I didn't finish cleaning last week.
Defrost something for dinner the next day.
Make a trip to the grocery store.
Answer work e-mails.

So what did I do last night? Sat down on the couch for five minutes and fell asleep for two hours.

Thankfully, the best husband in the world tackled most of the laundry.

Now I REALLY need a vacation

Around here, we work entirely too hard. So we thought it might be fun to take advantage of the long weekend and head out of town.

However, here's a list of all the things this working mama has to do before we can leave:

Research vacation spot.
Book kennel for the dogs.
Find and reserve lodging.
Take dogs to vet for out-of-date shots needed to stay at kennel.
Assign husband to take dogs to vet.
Create list of things to bring on vacation.
Pack kids' clothes.
Pack kids' toys.
Pack my clothes.
Lay out kids' travel clothes.
Set aside car toys for kids.
Pack dogs' food and treats for kennel.
Go to grocery store to buy food for vacation.
Pack food.
Take dogs to kennel.
Assign husband to take dogs to kennel.
Pack car.
Put kids in car.
Fill up car with gas.
Return to house at least twice to pick up things we forgot.
Drive to vacation spot.
Check into hotel room.
Babyproof hotel room.
Change diapers and feed kids.
Go to general store to buy things we forgot.
Relax.

As much work as this is, I do manage to relax once we arrive. At home, there are always errands calling. But on vacation, I can forget about all that for awhile.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...

My two kids share a room, partly because we want them to learn closeness and sharing, and partly because we don't have a huge house. Most of the time, this arrangement has its benefits. And then there are other times, like last night.

A. woke up at 4 a.m. after a nightmare, calling for mama. (Hmm, could it be because we were watching the shark episode on "Planet Earth" earlier? And why in the middle of the night do they always ask for mama, never daddy?) I groggily dragged myself across the hall to their room, tucked him back into bed, and was about to do the same myself when L. woke up, too. Because I prefer to be prone rather than upright at 4 a.m., I picked up both kids and plopped them down in my bed.

So there we were, four of us crowded into a full-size bed. After much tossing and turning, eventually we all fell back to sleep.

It's not the best scenario, but sometimes I'm just too tired to try anything else. Fortunately, I have a secret weapon for nighttime wakenings: the morning fairy.

I read about this ingenious solution a couple of months ago. The way it works is, we tell A. if he goes to sleep in his own bed, stays there all night, and doesn't wet the bed, the morning fairy will bring him a present. Usually it's something like M&Ms and a banana.

Bribery? Yes. But A. is highly motivated by M&Ms.

Some days (and nights) I can't believe what I will say to get the desired result. I always thought I would be one of those parents who tells their children the truth about Santa Claus from the beginning.

But there's something about the power of magic for a three year old. It's more than him believing in something silly like a morning fairy; it's about him learning a new skill and taking pride in his accomplishments.

And, of course, mama getting a few more uninterrupted nights.

While I was busy working...

Predictably, the news media had a flurry of stories about working mamas to coincide with Mother's Day. Because I had a time-consuming gig last week, however, I am just now getting around to adding my comments. What can I say? I'm a busy working mama, and that gig paid better than blogging.

But back to the news. A Contra Costa Times story mentioned how mobile technologies are making it easier for employees to have flexible schedules. In a world where technology increasingly blurs the line between home and work, I'm always surprised more employers and employees don't take advantage of this. For example, given a computer and an Internet connection, both my husband and I could just as easily do our work in Uzbekistan as in Seattle.

Also, a survey by CareerBuilder.com shows that 44 percent of working mamas would take a pay cut if it meant they could spend more time with their children. I did, happily even, because I value my time and did not expect to be paid for 40 hours if I were there only 20.

And then there's the annual survey from Salary.com that says the combined roles of a stay-at-home mom, including overtime, would equal an annual salary of $138,095.

A working mama's "at-home salary" is $85,939. (A working father's salary, based on the national median: $71,160.)

Somebody owes me a raise.

Hey Mom! Thanks.

When my husband asked what I wanted for Mother's Day this year, I told him I didn't want a gift. "I just want to go swimming for an hour," I said.

Swimming is one of the things I do to relax. It's how I lost weight after the birth of my son. It's one of my favorite ways to exercise, because I always feel so energized afterwards. I don't go nearly often enough.

Then I thought, why not ask my mother if she'd like to join me for a swim on Mother's Day?

I see her almost every day, when she comes over to watch my kids so I can go out into the world and earn money. But our conversations are too often interrupted by wee ones demanding attention, so I thought it would be nice to do something together, just the two of us.

I can't even begin to thank my mother for all she's done for me over the years. She fed and clothed me. She bandaged my knees when I fell off my bike. She spent countless hours reading to me before bedtime. She attended every single one of my softball games. She taught me that I could do anything, be anything I wanted. She led by example, teaching me about kindness and patience.

And now, she helps watch my kids. If there were ever a person I trust to help raise them, it's her. I think she did a pretty good job the first time around.

I am grateful my kids will be raised in the loving arms of an extended family. I only met my grandparents a handful of times, so I love that A. and L. have formed a tight bond with their Nana. I am grateful that 12 years after I left home, my parents uprooted their lives and moved to the Pacific Northwest so they could be closer to their children and grandchildren.

Did I thank my mother this evening? Well, no. But we had a nice chat and a fun time in the pool. She even let me borrow her goggles after I told her mine leaked.

That's the kind of mother she is.

I hope I can do as much for my own kids. One thing I do know: If either A. or L. ever need help taking care of their own children, I will be there.

Paid family leave - finally!

Yesterday Washington state Gov. Christine Gregoire signed a family leave bill that would give workers a paid stipend for five weeks to care for a child.

Washington is the second state after California to offer paid family leave, which must be taken concurrently with unpaid federal leave.

Thanks is owed to Sen. Karen Keiser of Kent for sponsoring the bill, and to MomsRising.org for advocating on its behalf.

And in case you missed it, the cover story of ParentMap this month is about mothers' rights and includes some disturbing statistics:

• The U.S. is one of only five countries out of 173 studied that doesn't have some form of paid leave for new mothers. The other four: Swaziland, Lesotho, Liberia, and Papua New Guinea.
• Non-mothers earn 10 percent less than their male counterparts. Mothers earn 27 percent less than men, and single mothers as much as 44 percent less.
• Mothers were 44 percent less likely to be hired than non-mothers for the same job -- even with the exact same qualifications.
  

-- Source: ParentMap; MomsRising.org

It looks like we still have some work to do.

More on the end of the mommy wars

I love this commentary by Andrea Otanez on the end of the mommy wars.

She reminds us that most women jump in and out of the workforce throughout their lives, and that a "simplistic focus on us vs. them is a distraction from the real conflict journalists should examine: American institutions that disallow the flexibility life requires."

She's talking, of course, about research by E.J. Graff of Brandeis University's Schuster Institute for Investigative Journalism that suggests women are not opting out of the workforce but are being pushed out.

Once again, let's put the mommy wars to rest so we can focus on the real issues. More on that later...

A weekend, for a change

One of the problems with writing a blog for working mamas is sometimes the work gets in the way. I've been busy meeting with clients, finishing stories, covering my weary husband's share of parenting duties and planning A's 3rd birthday party, which was last weekend.

We held a double birthday party for A. and another boy at KidsQuest Children's Museum in Bellevue. It was great! The staff helped the kids make hats and kept us on schedule, and everyone also had time to play in the museum.

Because our kids have more than enough toys, the other mama and I decided to host a gift exchange. Every kid who brought a present went home with a present. I borrowed the idea after reading a story about how birthday parties are getting out of control. So A. got one gift (not counting presents from family), a Chutes and Ladders game. I had fun showing A. how to play it yesterday.

I think A. and all the guests had a good time. The best part for mama -- someone else had to clean up the mess.

On Sunday, we took the kids to a playground and then went for a hike. L. fell asleep in her carrier, so we rested on the beach while Dad and A. tossed rocks into the water. We spent two to three hours doing ... nothing. No errands, no chores, just spending time together as a family.

After all, that's the reason we work so hard, isn't it?