What makes it hard is also what makes it worthwhile

My son has a new game called shoe store, which primarily involves trying on all the shoes in my closet and stomping down the hallway with his sister, always quick to catch on, right behind him. Paradoxically, this game also involves dumping every single article of clothing in my closet on the floor, which is why I am not too fond of it. Especially when I've already spent half an hour cleaning up from an earlier game.

Lately I feel like I'm always one step behind. Every time I'm invited to the park or the pool or a birthday party, I spend more time trying to keep track of the kids than talking with friends. At the wading pool today, for example, I was so preoccupied with trying to keep my daughter from drowning while also chasing my son to the other end of the pool that I didn't have much time to visit with the two women I was with -- who each have only one child, I might add.

I came home quite tired, but still happy to be spending a beautiful summer day outside in the water, pretty much where I'd prefer to be all the time. Especially because I'll be stuck in an office the rest of the week.

But as exhausting, as emotionally challenging, as absolutely frazzling as caring for two children can be at times, it's what is hard that makes it worthwhile.

If I didn't have to bust my butt so often picking up after the kids, for example, I wonder if I would so readily cheer to see them master the use of a fork or to clean up toys unasked. If I didn't have to do 10 tons of laundry a week, I wonder if I would be so genuinely touched to be presented with a perfectly folded hand towel courtesy of my 3-year-old son. If I didn't have to hear my daughter cry for her mama every night at bedtime, I wonder if I would feel such mixture of relief and regret to watch her quietly drift to sleep on her own.

It just makes me wonder about all those celebrities with their cherished tots and doting nannies -- do they realize at the end of the day that it's all the hard work that makes it so worth it?

Or in other words, the harder the challenges, the happier I am to see the successes, no matter how small, in my own family.

A mother's shoes are tough to fill, but I do the best I can. I see the rewards in front of me every day.