Now that's more like it

I was thrilled today to sit down with my morning coffee and read this Seattle Times article about several local companies honored by the nonprofit Families and Work Institute for creating flexible workplaces.

Here are real-life examples of companies making a profit and treating workers well by giving them control over their work life. Some of the techniques used: flextime, working from home, bringing baby to work, and my personal favorite, an extra month of vacation every five years. Sign me up!

As these companies have discovered, happy workers are productive workers.

I was thinking about this today as I took my kids to the park. My husband runs his own company, which gives him a lot of control over his schedule so we can spend more time together as a family. But every so often, he has to work on the weekend -- 18 hours yesterday, and a full day today. (One of his employees recently had to leave the country because his visa expired. In a company of only five people, that hurts.)

Like I said, my husband doesn't have to do this often, but sometimes things come up. Just like in my last job, things would come up that might require my time on the weekend.

With our time with the kids already limited during the week, having to give up time with them on the weekends as well seemed inherently unfair. But it also illustrates the problem of what to do when both spouses have demanding careers.

Does it mean one has to sacrifice their career? Not necessarily. But if women earn less money than men, as a recent study shows, whose career do you think will suffer?

It's no wonder working mothers are being pushed out of the workplace.

Employers, are you listening? Maybe it's time to take a lesson from your more flexible counterparts.

Working and loving it

I love that I enjoy my job so much I actually look forward to going to work every day. I'm now up to three clients (in addition to helping my husband with his business), which I think is a pretty good start.

Some of the perks of self-employment: I control my own hours and the kind of work I want to do. If I want to learn about something new, I don't have to ask for anyone's approval. If I want to take a day off to take my kids to the museum, I can. I also don't have to waste time in stupid meetings.

I've recently been gleaning advice from "The Anti 9-to-5 Guide" by Seattle-based author Michelle Goodman. She ditched her former cubicle job to go into business for herself, and her book tells how you can do it, too.

One of the things she said in a recent Q&A in The Seattle Times: "Besides offering women flexibility, self-employment gives us a way around wage gaps, glass ceilings and mommy traps in the workplace."

She also says today's work environment is less than worker-friendly. The U.S. has some of the least family-friendly workplace policies in the world, and twenty- and thirty-somethings face "layoffs, offshoring and the 24-7 digital leash."

It's enough to make anyone run screaming from the office.

Or carve out a new career, doing exactly what you want to do.

Looking good, feeling good

One of the things I enjoy about going to work is getting dressed up. I take time to put on makeup, fix my hair, dress in nice clothes. When I look good, I feel good. And when I feel good, I do a better job at work.

It's a welcome change compared to my days at home with the kids, when getting both of them dressed and in the car is an endurance event, when several substances of unknown origin adorn my clothes by the end of the day, and any attempt to style my hair is quickly foiled by my son's demands for a horsey ride.

Not long ago, I read an article in The Seattle Times about tips for moms ready to jump back into the paid workforce. One of the suggestions: update your wardrobe.

I'd also recommend this advice to any woman who's had a baby. After being pregnant and nursing for three-plus years, most of the clothes in my closet are either out of style or don't fit. (I've lost the baby weight and then some -- I'm now the same size I was in high school.)

So recently I treated myself to a shopping spree. I left the kids with Nana and spent a couple of hours at the mall, by myself, and came home with some stylish new outfits.

And you know what? It felt good to do something for me.

Gender pay gap

A friend sent me this article today about a new study that shows a pay gap exists between men and women as soon as one year out of college.

About this friend: She's a well-educated, smart, highly productive worker at a male-dominated tech company. She knows she's fairly compensated for her level, but she also feels her career has stalled, in part because she's a woman and a mother.

What's most disturbing about this study is the gap is credited to gender discrimination, and the gap only widens as the years go by. Families in which a woman is the primary breadwinner are especially hard hit.

Have you smashed your head on the glass ceiling yet?

Appointments, appointments, appointments

What do other working mamas do about the seemingly endless parade of doctor's visits?

Looking at the calendar for the next month, I see that my son has his first dentist appointment, I have a date with the dentist to have some fillings replaced, my son has his three-year well checkup, and my daughter has her 15-month doctor's visit. That's four-plus hours of appointments, not to mention the time spent hauling the kids back and forth.

I don't work on Mondays, partly to address the issue of getting errands done, but our dentists and the kids' doctor don't work on Mondays, either.

I could ask my husband to tackle a couple of these, but he is short-handed at work right now and already putting in extra hours.

This is one of the reasons why I work part time instead of full time. But the rest of you, what do you do?

More fuel for the so-called mommy wars

Oh joy, another book pitting working mothers against stay-at-home mothers: In "The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much?" author Leslie Bennetts argues that the last thing women should do is leave the workforce.

Why add more fuel to the so-called mommy wars? I thought the concept that women were opting out had been put to rest.

While it's true that women who opt-out of the workforce for three years or 10 or 20 take a financial hit, some women decide it's worth the risk. Some women cannot afford to not work, but for those financially secure enough to do so, I say it's their choice.

As the writer who reviewed Bennetts' book for The Washington Post states: "After all these years of supposed equal rights, it seems men still have more important things to do than watch their children, a message relentlessly hammered home by the insufficient day care, inflexible employers and pressure to take 'mommy-tracked' jobs that burden so many mothers' working lives."

It seems to me we spend entirely too much energy fighting each other, when the true battle lies elsewhere.

Working and pumping

I recently scored my first official paid gig since starting my own business last month, writing about, of all things, breast pumps. Even better, I was able to say to the project manager with a straight face: “I’m the right woman for the job because I actually have some experience in this area. How do you feel about the word ‘nipple?’ ”

While researching this topic, I thought back to my own experiences pumping at work. I was fortunate enough to work for an employer who provided a lactation room, complete with locking door, breast pump, and refrigerator.

Some of my friends, on the other hand, have shared stories with me about pumping in their car, in the locker room behind a shower curtain, or even in a toilet stall. Come on, how hard is it for a company to provide its nursing mothers with one small office? Or even a converted janitorial closet?

For all you working mamas out there who are pumping at work and in need of inspiration, I recently read a story about a group of women at IBM who shared a lactation room and started a journal to detail their experiences. The journal evolved into several journals and eventually morphed into a book. "The Milk Memos," an informative and encouraging guide to balancing work and motherhood, was published by Penguin last month.

I love the subhead: "How real moms learned to mix business with babies -- and how you can, too."

Do you have a story about pumping at work that you'd like to share? If so, I’d love to hear it.

The "mother of all job changes"

Yesterday I left for work when my baby was sleeping, and I stayed late trying to solve a problem. When I got home, I had just enough time to eat dinner and give L. a goodnight kiss before putting her to bed.

It's hard trying to find the right balance between career and family. I feel lucky to have found a balance in my life that works for me, although not without painful trade-offs. But I would be miserable if I didn't get to see my daughter more than half an hour every day.

Going back to work after having a baby can be a difficult transition, but here's an idea: London's Financial Times had a recent article about a new service called "maternity coaching," which some firms are introducing in an effort to retain working mothers.

According to the Times: "Maternity coaching typically involves confidential one-to-one sessions before, during and after a woman's maternity leave, although it can be delivered in groups. It deals with practicalities, such as how the woman ensures a smooth handover, how much communication she wants from her employer while she is away, and how to set boundaries on returning to cope with the combined demands of work and home life.

"Coaching also addresses the emotional side, including a woman's changing sense of identity and the need to regain confidence."

The goal? To try to retain women in mid-level and senior positions.

I'm all for anything that lends support to new mothers. We face enough challenges already.

Sleepless nights, drowsy days

Some people can get by on five hours of sleep.

I am not one of them.

When I don't get enough sleep, I am grumpy. I am irritable. I am more emotional.

My son, now 2 1/2, was a good nighttime sleeper. (Naps for him were a different story.)

On the other hand, my daughter, now 1, is a light sleeper. Even now the slightest noise can rouse her from her slumber.

Last night she was up and screaming for two hours. I tried to nurse her, I tried to rock her, I tried to put her back in her crib, but that just made her more angry.

Suspecting teething, I finally gave her some Tylenol and lay down next to her on the sofa, and eventually she drifted back to sleep. I looked at the clock: 2 a.m.

I put her back in her crib, collapsed onto my bed, and the next thing I knew it was 5:45 a.m. and my son was yelling from the other room that he wet his bed. Of course he woke up his sister, who shares a room with him.

I find it so hard to concentrate at work when I'm exhausted. Fortunately, I have a light day planned today, so I can just sit in my corner and be grumpy.

I take some small solace knowing I am not the only one awake in the middle of the night. In a recent poll by the National Sleep Foundation, 60 percent of American women say they do not get enough sleep.

What's keeping us from our pillows? Other than children, not doing enough to wind down at night before bed, for one thing.

To which I say, when else am I going to check e-mail? Fold the laundry? Clean the kitchen?

But I know when I can push my limits and when I can't, so tonight after I put the kids to bed, I will ignore the chores and just go to sleep.